Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 61: The Birthday of the Playwright

Today is my birthday.  I'm going to go out on a limb and announce to the world that I'm 38.  Though most tell me I could pass for younger, I'm proud of where I am and who I am and I've earned every one of the nascent crows feet around my eyes.  While I had hoped I would be more successful (read: famous) by now, I have lived my life large.  I've accomplished a lot in my 38 years so far, if I really think about it.

There, I said it.  I've accomplished a lot.  Why is that so hard for me to say?  I guess because I have had such big dreams that didn't come true (yet).  Having fallen short of such high goals, it's easy to focus on what I haven't managed to do (become an internationally famous opera singer or a Broadway sensation) and forget what I have done.  There aren't that many people who can say they've sung the role of Carmen, for example.  Not to mention the couple dozen other opera and musical theater roles I've performed with companies in California, New York and even one in Italy.  I've written and performed my own cabaret shows, self-produced a family theater show with Kat, studied with some of the greatest people in the opera world, spent a summer studying in Italy, and had the guts to leave a good-marriage-turned-sour at age 36 and completely remake myself.

When I think about the last three birthdays, it's astounding to see what incredibly different places I was in on this day in 2008 vs 2009 vs 2010.  On my 36th birthday, I was 25 pounds heavier (I'd only just started Weight Watchers), desperately trying to save a failing marriage, had just started performing cabaret instead of opera, and hadn't even discovered writing yet.  On my 37th birthday, I was my current weight, 7 months single and living in my own place for the first time, had only had a couple of dates with my now boyfriend, and had just started trying to write my first book for the family musical theater show.  Now at 38, I'm still maintaining my weight, have the best-boyfriend-ever, my voice teaching studio is off and running, and I have become a playwright and a blogger. Whew.

I am so grateful for everything that has come into my life, all the amazing people I have around me supporting me and cheering me on.  This birthday has shown me how I want to continue to live my life: surrounded by love, friends and great art; taking care of myself by nurturing both my body and my creative spirit; and making time for the things that matter most to me (and always examining what those things are).

I'll make a deal with the universe: if all my future birthdays can be this good, I promise never to complain about getting older.
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