Sunday, March 14, 2010

Day 57: Having my cake and eating it too

This week, I was able to do it all: work my office job, lead my last three weight watchers meetings, and teach 15 students; have an old college buddy stay over on his way through town; celebrate my best friend's boyfriend's birthday; go to a jazz concert & reception hosted by my boss; go to the gym twice; post 5 blog entries and update my website; write a very-well-received new scene of my play in time for class today; and throw one of the most perfect birthday parties I've ever had.  (So I actually did have my cake and eat it too -- the most amazing chocolate cake my boyfriend and I made from his mom's recipe).

If my life were merely a matter of my crazy hodge-podge work schedule and various social engagements, it would be hectic.  When I add the self-imposed pressure of writing a play and maintaining a blog, it becomes insane.  So how did I do it?  Twice I got up at 6:15 to write and go to the gym before the office.  Other times I set my timer and made myself sit at my table instead of on my bed/couch so I wouldn't fall asleep while writing.  I asked for - and received - immense amounts of help and support from my best-boyfriend-ever.  I carried my journal around with me at all times and wrote in it whenever I had the chance and also made notes and lists when I thought of something I needed to do or wanted to remember.  But perhaps most importantly: I stopped myself from wasting time wishing I had more free time and just made choices about how I wanted to spend the time I had.

I can scarcely believe the outpouring of love and friendship I experienced at my party last night.  In the midst of the torrential downpour and 60mph winds that turned New York into an umbrella cemetery, so many people from so many different facets of my life came to celebrate my birthday with me.   Performing friends, playwriting friends, burning man friends, a weight watchers friend, a student, and even my dear friend who is due to give birth tomorrow.  I feel so incredibly loved and valued that I'm at a loss for how to express it.  On top of all that, I even got to sing: as has become tradition, Kat and I trotted out a few numbers at the party.  Other folks got up and played and sang too.  Did I mention it was the best party ever?

When I next have a moment where frustration overtakes me, like in last Friday's "AAARRRRRGGGHHHH" post,  I want to remember how I feel right now (to steal a phrase from one of my best friends):

I love my life.
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